Hijinx-Related Projects

Possibly the funniest article I’ve read all month: Marvel Comics vs. Science: 5 of the Most Absurd Superhero Origins. Makes me sad to think that there are no Commie villains anymore (well, Putin is just too easy…).

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I Heart Jon Stewart

Dear God, this test and its writer have flattered me more than any man (or woman) could possibly hope to: they’ve validated my sense of humor.
And I, being the selfish hack that I am, most definitely saw fit to post the results:

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Wilshire Village

Here in Houston, there is a beautiful old apartment complex at West Alabama and Dunlavy; those of you from here will know what I’m talking about. It’s called Wilshire Village, or at least it was in better times. Wilshire Village was built at the tail end of the Depression and with a 1939 price tag [...]

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Thoughts

I do not run for the Presidency merely to oppose any man, but to propose new policies. I run because I am convinced that this country is on a perilous course and because I have such strong feelings about what must be done, and I feel that I’m obliged to do all I can.
Kennedy stood [...]

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My Inner Foodie

Where I work, we have a Breakfast Club, like so many other offices across the nation. And every Friday morning we are subjected to the unrepentant and unfailing cycle of bagels, donuts, bagels, donuts, bagels, breakfast tacos and more donuts. I don’t know why I used the word “subjected,” since we’ve all undertaken this breakfast [...]

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E-Mail Hell

Since one of my favorite pastimes is gently (okay, maybe viciously at times) mocking the people I work with and transcribing some of their better moments, I present you with this head-pounding-against-the-wall chain of e-mails (with all random spacing, spelling and punctuation left intact):
Katharine-
***
-Sev

Sev-
Sorry, nothing came through…
-Katharine

Katharine-
His information cannot be retrieved?
-Sev

Sev-
I’m sorry, I meant that [...]

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The Evils of Fashion

I have big boobs. For those of you who know me, that’s as aphoristic as it gets.

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Not If You Were The Last Ride On Earth

Richard was involved in a motor vehicle accident today (hee! sounding all official and whatnot). He’s okay, so let’s cut to the meat of the story here.
He’s tooling down Gessner, minding his own business, when this old woman blasts through an intersection (Gessner and Rip Van Winkle, the coolest street name ever) and T-bones his [...]

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The Staircase

I am intimidated by the 14th floor of our building. We call it the Mausoleum due to the deathly silence — quiet as the grave — that greets you upon entering its inner sanctum through the twelve-foot-high mahogany doors.

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Learn Some Bloody Spanish!

As I’ve probably mentioned before, the company for which I work is foreign-owned. Although the North American headquarters are here in Houston, it’s difficult to walk down any of the hallways and overhear a conversation that’s actually taking place in English. This doesn’t bother me — far from it, actually — I’m well-accustomed to a [...]

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I Can Has Cheezburger?

I don’t care if you think it’s old and busted. I don’t care that it’s been steadily amusing me for two years now and should have worn off ages ago. I still love this site: I Can Has Cheezburger?

But what I love even more is The Cheezburger Factory. Here, when bored and indulgent, I can [...]

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We Have Another WINNAR!

My parents are in New York right now on a shopping excursion. This spells trouble in ways too legion to enumerate here. Let’s just get to the quote of the week:
Me: What did you do this morning?Ralph (my dad): Oh, your mother dragged me to some store…Me: What was it called?Ralph: Herpes.Me: …what?Ralph: Herpes.Me: There’s [...]

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Dr. Spock Would Not Approve, My Overly-Tanned Friend

This morning at Starbucks, I had the great fortune of being in line behind a lovely specimen of the local breed of housewife:
Memorial BarbieThis yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of Rolls Royce convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are [...]

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Politickin’

Well…obviously.
1) Libertarian Party 84% (absou-freaking-lutely)2) Constitution Party 68%3) Reform Party 58%4) Republican Party 47%5) Green Party 37%6) Democratic Party 26%7) Natural Law Party 26%
Although I have to say I’m really quite troubled at how “Constitution Party” slipped in there. Just because I favor decreased taxes I’m all of a sudden a raving lunatic who fervently [...]

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Breakfast of Champions

I got to have a super-fun conversation today at work (but, really, what else is new?). I was on the phone, perhaps talking a bit too loudly, when my boss’s boss walked past my office. All she heard was this:
Me: Are you going to the doctor or not, asshole?
She peeked her head in the door [...]

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I’m Not Planning On Going Solo

Rolling Stone recently released its list of 20 Most Annoying Songs, which I’ve included for your reading pleasure below. I really couldn’t find any fault at all with the list, so…spot on, Rolling Stone. You still know your shit…sometimes.
Some of them make me want to cringe and/or vomit after reading only the first syllable. I [...]

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WINNAR

Quote of the night:
Billy: I don’t get what’s so bad about ninjas.Kristin: Have you ever fought a ninja?!?

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kär-tŏg’ra-fē

Today at work, one of my co-workers asked me to make a quick map for her. Geekily excited to use my map-making skills (my ninja skills aren’t in demand much these days), I whipped one up by hand and presented it to her. Impressed, she exclaimed to our other co-workers, “Look how professional this is! [...]

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In the Golden State

To briefly explain my profile song back at the ranch, I love John Doe. Not the crap TV show with Dominic Purcell, but the singer / songwriter.

Back in the 80s, he was with the band X — a pseudo punk / folk outfit whose lead singer was married to Viggo Mortensen — but since then [...]

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