A Role Model For Our Time

In today’s ongoing trend of proving negative stereotypes true, we have this gem courtesy of a New York Times article on a rather Caligulan “ritual” that apparently occurs during half-time at every Jets’ game in Giants Stadium.  I’ve taken the liberty of highlighting the juicy bits for you (what I consider the best bit is underlined and in red, juuuuust in case you might happen to miss it).

Denisse Rivera, a 23-year-old from the Bronx, was on a first date Sunday. When she arrived at the crowd at Gate D, several men pointed at her, signaling men at all levels to chant in her direction. After a brief moment of hesitation, she flashed them. Then she took a bow.

“I don’t care,” Rivera said when told that video clips of previous incidents, taken on cellphones, ended up online. “I love my body and I like what I have, so let everybody share it.”

Baby girl, you are doing the Bronx proud to-day!  When I picture Ms. Rivera in my head, the image that comes to mind is Rosie Perez in “Untamed Heart,” one of the most embarassing guilty pleasure movies in existence.

Yes, you. The one on the right with obnoxiously large earrings and hair, popping your gum and talking loudly about how fat Sheila Loveccio has gotten since she had her third kid. I’m looking at you.

Denisse, you have taken the liberty of showing the world that there are more unconventional ways of impressing a guy on the first date than laughing at his lame jokes or feigning interest in his sports team’s standings.  You’ve shown us the direct way to a man’s heart — not through his stomach, but through your boobs.  Your boobs, exposed to a stadium full of greasy, fat, New Jersey man-children who are clearly objectifying you in the most demeaning and public way possible — and you not only allow it, but you encourage it and thereby further reduce yourself to the piece of stupid, useless piece of flesh that you are.

Good fucking job, Denisse Rivera.  Class act, all the way.

I’ve really got to encourage all of my single girlfriends to try this on their next date.  Who knows?  Maybe someday we can all become as worthless and ignorant as our icon, Denisse.  It’s something to shoot for!