Things not to say to the accounting manager at your company:
Hmm. Your department usually smells like Cheerios, but today it just smells like rubber doll heads.
As if I was expecting her to gesture broadly to a box in the corner of her office, filled with rubber doll heads, and say, “Thanks! I just got rid of my box full of Cheerios last week and it’s taken a while for the smell to clear out.”
What the hell, mouth? Do you not have internal conversations with the random-shit-filter in my brain before you start moving?
I mean, seriously. I hear a lot of stupid things at work, but — sadly — the stupidest things seem to come from me.
This made me laugh so hard!!! Doll heads!!!
I say inappropriate things at work too– yesterday it was, “Oh, that reminds me of when my dad got rolled by a hooker in Hong Kong and had his Rolex stolen.”
For some reason, no one said a word.