Overheard in the elevator after work…
Corporate Attorney: Wow, Missy! You don’t look like you’ve gained any weight at all during your pregnancy, except in your belly!
Pregnant Missy: Are you kidding? I’ve gained 23 pounds so far.
Corporate Attorney: You’re gonna have a 23 pound baby?!?!
Archive for the ‘humor’ Category
They Breed ‘Em Big These Days
Posted in humor, what?, work on April 10, 2008 | 1 Comment »
April Fools!
Posted in humor, music on April 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Oy…
So, I’m back. And busy. So I’ll cut straight to the chase here.
Absolute favorite April Fool’s Day joke so far? Belongs to Seeqpod. No matter what song or artist you search for today, the first song that will come up is Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up.” Brilliant.
Go give it a try. You know [...]
I Just Can’t Help Myself
Posted in humor on February 21, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Fresh off a three-week ban from FARK, which was fresh off a two-week ban, which was fresh off a three-day ban, I’ve now managed to get myself banned for a whopping six weeks. The ban also came with this email:
K:
Looks like you’re banned for the next six weeks. You were on quite a roll today.
-Moderator
None [...]
Super Tuesday, Now With Extra Super
Posted in current events, humor, politics, tagged elections, Texas on February 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Way to do us proud, fellow Texans:
Super Tuesday not for Bexar voters
SAN ANTONIO — All the talk about Super Tuesday apparently caused confusion for many voters in Bexar County.
More than 1,000 calls poured into the Bexar County Elections Department on Monday from voters wanting to know where they could vote in Tuesday’s primary.
Problem is — [...]
A You By Any Other Name
Posted in humor on January 11, 2008 | 2 Comments »
A fun meme from my friend MB McQueen: the DIY Name Generator! I couldn’t resist…
1. My rock star name (first pet and current car)
Frisky Volvo
Doesn’t really have that Axl Rose-style ring to it, does it?
2. My gangsta name (ice cream flavour and cookie or biscuit)
Mint Chocolate Chip Oreo
I have a feeling that I’d be the [...]
Misunderstood Idioms, Part 946
Posted in humor, quotable quotes, work, tagged English, idioms, language on January 10, 2008 | 5 Comments »
Me: Sometimes I feel like I’m herding cats.
Coworker: I think you mean cattle.
Me: No, I meant “cats.”
Coworker: That doesn’t make sense. Why would you be herding cats?
Me: Nevermind…
Bitches Ain’t Shit
Posted in humor, music, tagged a cappella, Ben Folds, Dr. Dre, rap on January 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I adore the Ben Folds cover of the “classic” Dr. Dre song “Bitches Ain’t Shit.” But this a cappella version by DeCadence (a student a cappella group from UC Berkeley) is close to eclipsing that cover in terms of sheer lunatic goodness:
Marcel Duchamp would be proud. L.H.O.O.Q.
Footwear Fashion-Impaired
Posted in humor, work, tagged Crocs, fashion, footwear, shoes on January 9, 2008 | 6 Comments »
I don’t know who it was, but the person next to me in the ladies’ room at my office this afternoon was wearing these abominations:
I can only hope that someone’s gardener was visiting them at work…
Photo Of The Day
Posted in humor, what?, tagged celebrity, drugs, frogs, spelling on January 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Joaquin Phoenix has apparently become either so drugged out that he can’t spell his own name, or that frog in his hair he was so worried about a few years ago has finally nested inside his brain and the frog’s name is actually “Joaqin.”
Your call, readers.
Overheard In The Office
Posted in humor, quotable quotes on January 9, 2008 | 3 Comments »
The skinny, barely adolescent, half-Chinese, half-Mexican temp from Seattle who’s sharing my office:
Him: Yeah, man. I can’t ever think of the words that I want to say, like, when I want to say them. And that’s why I’m not a rapper.
Me: …really? That’s the only thing standing between you and a rap career?
Him: [...]
AVPR
Posted in humor, movies, web trinkets on December 27, 2007 | 5 Comments »
Are you stoked — like TOTALLY stoked — about the awesome new Aliens vs. Predator movie that’s coming out? Like, oh my freaking God, man, it’s gonna be so freaking awesomely cool, like, I can’t wait to go see it and then, like, go watch WWE Smackdown at Phil’s house afterwards and drink some MGDs [...]
Down The Rabbit Hole
Posted in humor, music on December 27, 2007 | 2 Comments »
For me, the best part of this video isn’t how wicked Shlomo’s beatboxing is (even in his early days here), but how at around 2:04 you can see Pete Doherty randomly sitting in the audience, absolutely cracked out of his skull — eyes bugging, the bottle of vodka slipping from his [...]
Kids These Days…
Posted in UK, humor on December 8, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
Our fine friends over at Little Man, What Now? have offered some quality advice on how to handle those damn kids who won’t get off your lawn:
The second course of action, which I employed recently when I discovered some particularly rat-faced specimens sniffing around the back of my house, is to shout obscenity-laden abuse whilst [...]
A Texan Map of the U.S.
Posted in humor, web trinkets, tagged , cartography, geography, maps, Texas on December 5, 2007 | 1 Comment »
I got a kick out of this post over at Strange Maps:
Sometimes it really does feel like El Paso is that far away from the rest of the state. The same goes for Amarillo and Brownsville. They might as well be in different states. Hell, El Paso isn’t even in the same time zone as [...]
Hebrewland
Posted in humor, languages, religion, work, tagged cross-cultural communication, geography, Hanukkah, IM, Israel, Judaism, language, prayer, technology on December 4, 2007 | 3 Comments »
At my company, we’re spread across not only many different floors of a building, but across many different cities and countires. Often, the people you communicate with the most are in a completely different country than you. For that reason, we employ none other than MSN Messenger (a.k.a. IM) to do the bulk of our [...]
Better Now?
Posted in humor, web trinkets, tagged endless internet memes and cliches on November 21, 2007 | 2 Comments »
I realize that I have written three very acidic and bitter-sounding posts back to back here. To prove that I do have a heart — even if it’s shriveled and black the last few days — here’s a highly random sampling of photos that I find both amusing and cute. Okay, mostly just amusing, but [...]
If You Lie Down With Dogs…
Posted in UK, humor, soccer, tagged football, Harry Enfield, Liverpool, Merseyside, Peter Crouch, scousers, soccer on November 20, 2007 | Leave a Comment »
…you wake up with dirty, thieving scousers.
Fifth Liverpool player is burgled
Dirk Kuyt has become the fifth Liverpool footballer to be burgled in less than 18 months.
The 27-year-old striker’s luxury home in Woolton was targeted on Thursday while he was away on international duty with home country Holland.
Merseyside Police confirmed they were investigating a burglary [...]


