Setting That Bar Low

An idea/meme cribbed from Margo, for my birthday:
Horoscopes!  The notoriously unreliable and far too broadly applicable self-indulgences we all know and love.  Here are mine, for November 11th:
From the Houston Chronicle:
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 11). Knowing where you’d like to be this time next year, you’re motivated to make the choices that will deliver you. You’re [...]

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What’s With Today Today?

I’m having a very Empire Records sort of day, which is probably driving the temp insane.  Good.
Sometimes I get in these moods where all I want to listen to is music from my high school days.  As far as I’m concerned, this short era in music was the critical boundary between the last of commercially-viable yet [...]

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Mad Google Skills

In an ongoing meme, I present the latest Google search terms that have led cyber-wanderers to this page.
The Questions

how much is the david yurman employee discount?
how to vomit discreetly on a plane?
trashy maternity shirts?
pepto bismol okay when pregnant?
free silicone boobs?

 The Superlatives

very very very very sexy boobs
FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

The Castigations

quit staring at these boobs!
im a dumbass american
i [...]

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For Now

Until I feel up to writing more, here are a few things I’ll miss about my granddaddy:

Some of his sayings:

“Cowboys are tough!”
“Close the barn door!” when actually referring to the garage door
“Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets” when referring to my grandmother
“It’s R-U-N-T, ruint!” instead of ruined
“I tic-a-locked it!” which was his way of saying that [...]

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Saint Peter, don’t you call me ’cause I can’t go…

I’ve been at the new job for exactly three months now. I suppose this is the threshhold at which I can cease referring to it as my “new job,” although it still feels new to me. I’ve held a lot of jobs in my life, starting with the first job I ever held — as [...]

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Stolen Memes

Literary memes are pretty irresistable to me, folks.  If you’re even vaguely interested, read on.  If not, the next post is just right down the page there…  There you go…  Keep scrolling…

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Only The Penitent Man Shall Pass

Tonight I have decided to make a list. I enjoy list-making. It helps you center your priorities and focus on things which might otherwise slip away into some lonely non-list-having realm. I should also mention that I am quite drunk. Henceforth, some of what I may type may or may not make sense. That’s a [...]

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Thank you, come again!

In the ongoing, agonizing struggle to free myself from the townhome that I was leasing (very little of which I’ve bothered to complain about on here because: provokes anger), I had what I thought would be the final walkthrough tonight with the leasing agent and the new tenants. The new tenants are nice enough, I [...]

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New House Saga, Part One Million and Three

Soooo tired.
Richard and I only closed on the new house last Thursday, but we’ve been blowing like mad to get her into shape before this Tuesday.  It’s like flipping a house and then living in it afterwards.  I have a whole new respect for the people on those shows like “Flip This House” and its [...]

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A Rose By Any Other Name

What’s in a name?  A question I fear was not posed by parents of years past while pondering the breadth and variety of available names for the people below* who were once tiny, nameless babies.  If, after much deliberation, the parent found that a name to suit their child was simply nonexistent, their “creativity” sprung [...]

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Top Ten

Eh…everyone else is doing a year-end countdown of some kind, so here’s mine.
Top Ten Websites of 2006 (bear with me here…)
1.  Cute Overload:  Jacque turned me on to this one.  It’s your daily dose of almost unbearable cuteness in the form of tiny puppehs and kittehs.  See?  I have a heart.
2.  Go Fug Yourself:  I [...]

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Chapter Four, In Which Jeff Foxworthy Mocks Me

I just got back from my FIFTH Christmas dinner / present unwrapping orgy (and it’s not even Christmas anymore), this time with my brothers and sisters-in-law and nephews.  Everyone finally had a chance to sit down and see each other after all the “real” Christmas madness had passed and it was a very fun time had [...]

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Way #82,115

It’s been a while…whatever.  Sorry.  I hate it, too.
So, I’m processing a death claim today for an employee in South Carolina who passed away directly after quitting his job.  The people at our company out there didn’t miss him, since he’d just quit and all, and he didn’t have any family or friends to notice [...]

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Poking a Badger With a Spoon

I present three websites of varying usefulness:
1.  Animals Have Problems, Too:  I normally hate everything that the Houston Chronicle regurgitates onto its pages, but I guess even broken watches are right twice a day.  This website redefines the word “awesome” (which is nice, since I completely overuse it) and, you know, other awesome words of [...]

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Eraserhead

Took one of those “personality tests” tonight, a device into which I normally don’t place a lot of stock, but…  Well, read for yourself:

messy, tough, disorganized, fearless, not rule-conscious, likes the unknown, rarely worries, rash, attracted to the counter culture, rarely irritated, positive, resilient, abstract, not a perfectionist, risk taker, strange, weird, self-reliant, leisurely, anti-authority, [...]

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