One of the few things that you look forward to when you’re at work for twelve hours straight is going into the office kitchen area and rooting around for leftovers from lunch. Okay, maybe that’s just me. Don’t judge me!
Anyway, I waddled into the kitchen tonight and there on one of the counters was a goodie basket from one of our vendors. Jackpot! These things are usually laden with all manner of chocolates and biscuits and tiny unidentifiable candies that are probably only manufactured at little goodie basket places and aren’t available for general sale but with good reason. So, there on top was a small box of what looked exactly like Thin Mints. Double jackpot! Usually I have to wait until Girl Scout cookie time to satisfy my crunchy mint/dark chocolate craving, but tonight was going to be a bonanza. I grabbed the box like the greedy little Jawa that I am and scurried back to my office.
Once safely ensconced in my office, I opened the box and popped one of the delectable little cookies into my waiting mouth. It was watering, I tell you. I really like food, okay? Don’t judge me! My teeth met the delicate shell of the cookie and broke through. The soft center flowed across my tongue…wait a second. Thin Mints don’t have soft centers. And Thin Mints do NOT taste like Pepto-Bismol.
What the fuck? What asshole decided it would be a good idea to create Pepto-Bismol flavored cookies? And then disguise them as Thin Mints! Not only did they taste JUST LIKE Pepto, the gooey center was EXACTLY the same consistency and COLOR (COLOR, PEOPLE!!!) of Pepto!!!!!!
Can you tell this totally ruined my night? Yeah. Fuck you, vendors who gave us Pepto cookies and Fuck you, goodie basket creators who committed the ultimate travesty of even creating such foul and unnatural cookies.