My parents are in New York right now on a shopping excursion. This spells trouble in ways too legion to enumerate here. Let’s just get to the quote of the week:
Me: What did you do this morning?
Ralph (my dad): Oh, your mother dragged me to some store…
Me: What was it called?
Me: There’s a store called Herpes? And you went to it?
Mother (shouting in the background): HERMES, DUMBASS.
Ralph: Oh, “her-meees.”
Me: I think you mean “er-mez.”
Ralph: Whatever. You’re both assholes.
Well, pronunciation issues aside, he’s got a point. Also, do you see now where I get this from?