Richard was involved in a motor vehicle accident today (hee! sounding all official and whatnot). He’s okay, so let’s cut to the meat of the story here.
He’s tooling down Gessner, minding his own business, when this old woman blasts through an intersection (Gessner and Rip Van Winkle, the coolest street name ever) and T-bones his car. He’s sent spinning into a Dukes of Hazzard-style 360 but manages to get the car to stop before it hits anyone else. His car is a sad, twisted mess. Although quite shaken and with a severly mangled car, he pulls off onto a side street and the old woman eventually follows suit.
Once out of traffic, they exchange information, the old woman apologizes for hitting him (“I guess I didn’t see you there…” “Well, recklessly speeding and being about 85 years old will do that to your line of sight somtimes.”) and before she drives back to whatever senior center she came from, she asks him what I think is the best question after an auto accident of all time:
“Would you like a ride somewhere?”
Richard’s response: “Yeah, you know, given the stellar driving you’ve just displayed for me thus far, I think I’ll decline that offer.”
Jesus H. Christ, there are a lot of crazy idiots out there. 85 years old or not, that is one stupid fucking question.