It looks like I’ll be hitting the road tonight, driving up to Dallas for some family matters. I truly loathe Dallas and find it very unfortunate that so many of my family members have chosen to reside there instead of, well, any other place in the world. Dallas is a pit, a void; I don’t even consider it part of Texas. That’s how much I hate Dallas.
Anyway, to pass the interminable hours that I’ll be spending in the hospital surrounded by emotional cripples, I’d like some book suggestions. I know you’re out there, people. I get at least 100 hits a day — although I don’t know why or where most of you are coming from or even how you found me in the first place, you weirdos — so one of you has got to have a suggestion for a book or two that I can pick up at B&N on my way out of town.
I’m going to try not to be too picky here, but please don’t suggest any of the following:
- The Secret
- Anything associated with Oprah or her “Book Club”
- James Patterson or anthing of that ilk
- Tuesdays With Morrie
- Anything that you think might o-ffend mah delicate sensibilities (i.e., book-snobbishness)
…or you will get a hatchet to the face.
That is all.