I think that most of us have been through the trials and tribulations of trying to sell something on Craigslist. Also, if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably scanned the M4M section of the personal ads and sent the most disgusting postings (gross penis pictures included, of course) to all of your straight male friends’ e-mail addresses with subject lines like, “Check Out This Cool Dodge Viper!” so that you can hear their collective screams of horror from across the city as they open the link.
Anyway, my friend Mike decided to sell an old 19-inch television on Craigslist last week. Having played many, many foolish games of “Of Course I’ll Hold It For You!” with potential buyers who never showed up, he finally wised up and told interested parties that it was strictly first-come-first-serve with his TV. Because he was selling the television for such a low price, he had a lot of inquiries and, of course, just as many no-shows. Mike was glad that he hadn’t promised to hold the TV for anyone; this was turning out to be a much easier selling process.
And then there was Becky. Becky was a college student who was one of the interested parties. She had e-mailed and spoken with Mike several times but there was no arrangement made for an actual date or time of sale. A few days passed, and Mike figured that Becky had found another TV to suit her needs. Mike sold the TV to a scary-looking, mulleted man in a Gremlin one day after work and continued on with his life.
This morning, he came into work to hear a message from Becky’s very angry and very screechy mother on his voicemail. I’ve transcribed it below for your reading pleasure:
Mike _______, you are a piece of shit. A real, honest-to-God piece of shit. My daughter rented a truck, made all of these arrangments, took time off work, even, to come and pick up that television that you posted on Cragislist. And you weren’t even there at the house to sell it to her! And the ad’s not up anymore, so I guess you already sold it! You piece. Of. Shit. You really have no respect at all for other people, do you? No consideration for anyone else’s feelings! No respect! Mike ______, you are a piece of shit, and I just wanted you to know that.
Sadly, the telephone number that the mother called from was blocked, so Mike was unable to call her back and explain both the concept of “the pot calling the kettle black” and the fact that her vacant, airhead of a daughter never even discussed a price with Mike, much less a date or time to purchase the television.
Yes, Craigslist is obviously filled with the lunatic dregs of society, but don’t let the above story put you out. Because the lunatics will also usually pay you good money for useless crap that you want to get rid of and they’ll haul it off for you, too. So, happy selling!