…you wake up with dirty, thieving scousers.
Dirk Kuyt has become the fifth Liverpool footballer to be burgled in less than 18 months.
The 27-year-old striker’s luxury home in Woolton was targeted on Thursday while he was away on international duty with home country Holland.
Merseyside Police confirmed they were investigating a burglary in Woolton.
The Merseyside home of Jerzy Dudek, Liverpool’s goalkeeper from the 2005 Champions League final penalty shoot-out, was burgled in June 2006.
The raid at Kuyt’s house is the latest to see a footballer’s home targeted in the city while the players are away at a match.
Dudek, who now plays for Real Madrid, was on holiday in Poland when thieves took his Porsche car, jewellery and a large haul of football memorabilia from across his career, including his European Cup medal.
Pepe Reina was burgled while he played for Liverpool in last May’s Champions League semi-final against Chelsea.
He also had his Porsche taken during the raid, among other things, with the car later found burnt-out in West Derby.
Reds defender Daniel Agger had his Wirral home burgled in September last year and striker Peter Crouch’s house in Alderley Edge was targeted in the same month while he was on England duty.
With the exception of Peter Crouch (my beloved robot man), they did choose to live in and around Liverpool, so they shouldn’t be too terribly shocked. Maybe they should go and play for a proper team in a proper city…just a thought.
For those of you unfamiliar with the term “scousers,” I’ll turn to the always amusing Urban Dictionary for a few witty definitions:
- Scouser, n. A scouser is the universal term used to describe a person from Liverpool and more importantly one who is on the lower rung of society. Scousers are generally poor and fill their need for televisions with thieving addictions. Scousers can be found in poorly lighted car parks and dark alleys. “That guy who stole your TV was probably a scouser.”
- Scouser, n. As everyone has said, a scouser is someone from Liverpool. Like all cities, Liverpool has its scum but I have to say they were colourful and well-mannered. When I stayed there in 1991 I witnessed a branch of Dixons being broken into one night but the thieves were all very polite. They wished me good evening as I went past and went to pains to ensure I wasn’t hit by any flying glass from the window they were breaking. I felt this was a very nice touch. “Oh no! Someone has broken my car window and nicked the radio! But at least they swept the broken glass up – They must be a scouser!”
- Scouser, n. An inhabitant of a city fueled by insecurity, weakness and self pity. A city that has received millions in European funding over the years and is still in the top 5 deprived areas of Europe with a low academic record to match. In the main because of the lack of drive, ambition and a propensity to blame everyone else for their failiure. The scouser has a great deal of hatred towards Mancunians for building the ship canal, which defined the demise of Liverpool port trade. Where most economies moved on, Liverpool cornered the market in whinging thus creating a culture of state dependency. A common question is why so many people hate Liverpool, because the scouser hates himself.
And so as not to be biased, here’s a lovely entry from an actual Liverpudlian:
- some1 from liverpool, city with less crime and unemployement dan manchester…but we’l stil put a stanley blade across the neck of any fuckin manc “is ryt laddddddddddddddd”
And for a visual representation, we turn to the ever-reliable Harry Enfield:
And this has been today’s lesson on scousers, brought to you by the letter “S.”