A fun meme from my friend MB McQueen: the DIY Name Generator! I couldn’t resist…
1. My rock star name (first pet and current car)
Doesn’t really have that Axl Rose-style ring to it, does it?
2. My gangsta name (ice cream flavour and cookie or biscuit)
Mint Chocolate Chip Oreo
I have a feeling that I’d be the gangsta that all the homies beat up mercilessly as preparation for actual turf war fights.
3. My fly girl name (first letter of first name, first three letters of last name)
Ugh. Reminds me of that terrible 80s band, K-Blac. Am I the only person who remembers them?
4. My detective name (favourite colour, favourite animal)
How is this a detective name? I sound more like a tweedy English pub.
5. My soap opera name (middle name, city of birth)
I’m on Passions, aren’t I? Great.
6. My Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name)
This sounds evil. But not the cool kind of evil, the henchman kind of evil that gets killed in the first fifteen minutes.
7. My superhero name (second favourite colour, favourite drink, add “the”)
The Green Milkshake.
I bring all the boys to the yard. And then I defeat them and uphold justice!
8. My Nascar name (first two names of my two grandfathers)
Joe Ben (or Ben Joe, take your pick)
These are both so country, it kills me.
9. My stripper name (favourite perfume, favourite sweet)
Finally! A name that lives up to itself! Anyone named Chanel HAS to be a stripper, right? It’s like being named Starla or Diamond.
10. My witness protection name (mother’s and father’s middle names)
God, I sound boring. I’d be the most boring protected witness ever.
11. My weather anchor name (fifth grade teacher’s name, a major city beginning with the same letter)
I’m a dirty Canuck weather anchor.
12. My spy name (favourite season/flower)
And we’re back to stripper names…
13. Cartoon name (favourite fruit plus garment you’re wearing, with an “ie” or “y” added)
14. Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast plus favourite tree)
I’m a Mexican hippie, cabron. You’d better recognize.
15. Your rockstar tour name (favourite hobby plus weather element, with “the”)
The Writing Snow
We drop lots of acid on this tour, natch.
And MB’s very own, clever addition:
16: Blues singer name (a disability, a fruit or vegetable, and a president)
One-Armed Onion Kennedy
My favorite, by far.