Am I the only one who’s noticed a subtle uptick in the number of “personal lubricant” ads on television lately? I thought it was just me. Either that or the “personal lubricant” industry is flush with earnings and is blowing them all on skeezy TV ads just before Valentine’s Day.
And then, this morning, there it was. A “personal lubricant” ad that confirmed my suspicions: the ad slyly suggested that with their brand of lubricant, you are guaranteed to have a “Happy Valentine’s Night” (emphasis theirs).
Ah, yes. Valentine’s Day. That happy day which has gone from a celebration of the martyrdom of two Roman priests who were burned alive in the street, to a hypercommercialized card-and-candy industry, and finally to a not-so-subtle suggestion that you will need personal lubricant in order to celebrate with your loved one, because — apparently — all the cards, candy, flowers, dinners, jewelry and foreplay in the world are simply not going to be enough when it comes to consummating Valentine’s Day in proper fashion. You will need lubricant.
Eeeeew. And also? What a lovely sentiment. And, again…eeeeeeeeeeeew.