My friend Jessica used to make the most badass mix tapes. She’d dig up music that none of us had ever heard before and proudly present it on homemade mix tapes with completely nonsensical names like “I Wish You Weren’t A Liar” and “$0.02” and “Małe Kartofle” (pronounced “maow-eh kar-toff-lay”, Polish for “small potatoes”). I kept all of them and still listen to them when I need to be reminded of good friends and better times.
I miss mix tapes. I mean, sure, you can burn a CD these days but all the effort put into it seems diminished somehow. You download a song off iTunes — one that’s already been rated and reviewed for you by other users — and toss it into a folder and let the burner rip. There’s something missing. Something about digging and pawing through stacks of random LPs and tapes and CDs at the record store, looking for something that strikes you. Buying the entire thing and taking it home and digesting it as a whole. Slowly picking out your favorite songs and tracks. And then finally sitting down and beginning the laborious process of transferring one song at a time — from twelve or fifteen or thirty different albums — onto one little tape.
And it’s no secret that I’m a big fan of 90s music. Grunge, post-grunge, punk rock, alternative rock (before disgusting posers like Nickelback and 3 Doors Down ruined that genre…): all good, all golden. These were my high school days and college days and halcyon days of cheap concerts and late nights and a complete lack of real world worries or responsibilities. It makes sense that I’d love the soundtrack to times like those.
With that in mind, my little barn swallows, I’ve made a 90s mix tape for you all. It’s not the good, old-fashioned kind of mix tape; I had to resort to technology. But I hope you enjoy it, as my Valentine to all of you faithful readers out there.
What’s that? There’s no Soundgarden on there? That’s because I hate them. Don’t question the mix tape!
How can you not like Soundgarden?! Moreover, how can you not like Soundgarden and instead like a band like Bush?! Gavin Rossdale’s songwriting abilities are predicated on his finding one word or phrase and then repeating ad nauseum. I present the following lyrical gems: Mouth/Mouth/Mouth/Mouth and Little/Little/Little/Little and I don’t think so/I don’t think so/I don’t think so and Glycerine/Gycerine/Glycerine/Glycerine. Seriously, Bush?!
No Sublime? No Toadies? No Cure? What are you, a Communist?
Good grief. Your Valentine has been redacted, Douglas Prissypants. 😉
I hate Soundgarden because I can’t stand Chris Cornell and his insipid little goatee and the way he never can just wash his hair and put a goddamn shirt on, and because I will never forgive them for unleashing the hellishly banal “Black Hole Sun” upon the air waves and our collective subconscious, as I attribute the rise of such bile-inducing knockoffs as Puddle of Mudd and Staind to exactly that moment in time.
Toadies are on there, but it’s not “Possum Kingdom,” so I can see how one would be confused.
The Cure — as you and I both know — live in an indefinable category all their own, far above such trifling mediocrities as playlists.
Sublime was an egregious oversight and I’ll correct it posthaste, as they provided most of the soundtrack to my life in 1997.
And while Gavin Rossdale does have a very annoying tendency to put himself on repeat (even the song I chose only seems to have one continuous lyric: “heaven is on the way”), he makes up for it by achieving the near-impossibility of their music being both dark/gothic yet strangely upbeat at the same time. It’s a fine line, and they walk it well. And he’s hot. I’m shameless like that.
You aren’t going to berate me on the lack of Chili Peppers or Silverchair or some utterly random indie band that I’ve probably never heard of before? I expected more vituperation from you, Doug! 😀
I’ll give you all the vituperation you can handle!
Gin Blossoms
Cranberries
Rage Against The Machine
Better Than Ezra
Into Another
Beastie Boys
Oasis
Blur
The Black Crowes
…to name a few
Plus, you bag on Chris Cornell’s mop top, goatee, and bare chest whilst ignoring Gavin’s oh so ridiculous geri curl and the lead guitarists Howie Mandel from Let’s Make a Deal look. In addition, his lyrical abilities seem to be a rip off of Kurt Cobain, except his nonsensical stylings really are nonsensical. At least Cobain still managed to say something. Mr. Rossdale just mumbles drivel. Can we throw him into the vault with Alan Rickman?
Ooooh. Hole. Not quite sure about that one. Other than that I’ll “partially” agree with you regarding your aversion to Soundgarden. Partially. Pre “sell our souls for a top 40 hit” (i.e. Spoonman, black hole sun, et all) they were actually a decent band.
And they were, at least partially responsible for one of the most kick-assed side projects of all time…..
That being said I’ll agree with Doug on Rage, Cranberries (zombie being their best song), the Beasties and the Crowes. The other bands on his list being good bands, but ultimately knock-offs of great bands of the past.
Now, were we to roll down the dark recesses of the post-industrial 80’s, synth-punk 80’s before Ministry sold out well….then we might have a debate.
And doug, I agree that the recent Rickman parts have all seemed eerily similar to his Nottingham role in Robin Hood however it should be noted that, prior to Die Hard there had never been a villain that was near as much fun as Mr. Gruber.
He deserves credit for that, at the least.
Good villain in Die Hard does not equal do-able. Glen Close was scary as hell in 101 Dalmatians, but I do not want to be the big spoon to her small spoon.
Also, if we’re talking great music we could have another discussion altogether. I am naming great nineties bands. “Great” meaning bands that captured something essential or at least unique to the nineties. Granted, I would not listen to a lot of these groups given the choice, but in the same way Poison or Motely Crue are quintessential 80s bands, so too are a lot of the groups on a good 90s mix tape.
@ doug: Nigel Pulsford did the Bald Mandel look first; bag on Howie, if you’re gonna bag on anyone. Oh, and there was some Black Crowes on that list originally, but they got mysteriously deleted. They’ve now made a triumphant return.
I have a theory that involves making a person choose their favorite Black Crowes song, and from there you can tell EVERYTHING about that person there is to know. It’s a long, complex theory for another day, though…
@ Cory: We so need to make an 80s mix tape now. You know that, right? Imagine the arguments that will stem from that effort… 😀
@ doug (again): Dude, I hate to break it to you, but Glenn Close would totally be the big spoon in your little silverware drawer of love. She’s a very…um…imposing woman…
And — for the last time — it’s MY Funny-Looking-Yet-Hittable-Guys list. Rickman and his sexy voice remain! When you make a Funny-Looking-Yet-Hittable-Girls list, be forewarned that I’m going to shred it into tiny pieces. 😀
I’d hit Cruella de Ville.
Just sayin’
I like the idea of a ’90s playlist. I love “Tyler” and “Doll Parts”. I used to be a big Soundgarden fan, but I grew tired of them. They’re a little too elitist and weird and crap for me, now.
i guess it’s possible to be elitist in good way. or atleast a fun way. soundgarden is not. they’re bad like that.