I think that by now, you all know how awesome I am. But things just got a little more awesomer in my world…I got the sweetest new computer at work yesterday! I know that all you poor bastards are probably insanely jealous. So to help fan the flames of your envy, I’ve included some pictures of my new baby:
This is the laptop. Since I have such a terribly demanding travel schedule, I.T. knows that I need something light and convenient, but still as powerful as my actual desktop computer. It also has the added bonus of not just one, but TWO, floppy disk drives. Does anyone else have that on their laptop? I think not.
This is my new mouse. All the buttons and switches you see are a complex system for manipulating the pointer. It’s kind of difficult to learn at first, but when you’re as smart as I am (and I’m obviously operating at genius-level intelligence, or else I.T. wouldn’t give me such an awesome mouse in the first place), it only takes a couple of weeks to learn.
This is my “printer.” The reason I’m putting “printer” in quotes is because I.T. keeps calling it a mimeograph. I’m not sure what that means – yet. They tell me that it’s one of those new “wireless printers,” that’s why there aren’t any cords. And it conserves power, too! That’s why it’s operated by hand-crank. I complained about that at first, but it will give me a pretty good work-out. Plus, no one else has their own “printer.” Just yours truly.
While it’s not technically a part of my computer, I thought I’d also throw in a pic of my new adding machine. Pretty tight, huh? I especially like the fact that I.T. got me the special “Green and Gold” edition to honor my Baylor alumna status. They know how incredibly prestigious Baylor is and what an amazing achievement it is to gain entrance into its hallowed halls and learn how to look down on people who aren’t exactly like you, much less graduate and receive a diploma. Not many people accomplish that, so I feel that it’s only fitting that I reap the benefits of my impressive education for the rest of my life.
Last but not least, here’s a picture of the computer itself. That’s my boyfriend, Horace, standing off to the left. He comes to visit me every day, even though my boss said that it’s “inappropriate” and “disturbing.” She is so totally jealous, it’s not even funny.
Because the computer is so powerful, it takes up an entire room. Unfortunately, the only room that the company had available was down in the basement. I thought I saw people cheering as I.T. moved my new equipment down there – it was probably because they’re so heartened by my awesome good fortune and hope that maybe they’ll get the same star treatment someday. But they won’t. I keep telling them that there’s only room for ONE star at this company, and that’s me. That’s why I get my own room – not just my own office, my own ROOM – and this pimp-ass computer.
God, I’m so awesome.
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