An idea/meme cribbed from Margo, for my birthday:
Horoscopes! The notoriously unreliable and far too broadly applicable self-indulgences we all know and love. Here are mine, for November 11th:
From the Houston Chronicle:
TODAY’S BIRTHDAY (Nov. 11). Knowing where you’d like to be this time next year, you’re motivated to make the choices that will deliver you. You’re wary of situations and people who will hold you back. A relationship shift brings more love into your life in February. Finances reflect a new attitude about money in January. You share a special connection with Virgo and Taurus. Your lucky numbers are: 8, 4, 13, 22 and 18.
I’m not sure how Richard will feel about both the “relationship shift” or my “special connection with Virgo and Taurus.” Does this mean my horoscope is predicting that I will pick up cuckolding as a hobby in the next year? How scandalous.
Let others in your workplace or social group take the risks today — you’ve done enough lately! It’s not that you’re afraid of failing, it’s just that sometimes you need to spread the energy around the gang.
Wow, considering that I’ve been away from work for the last two weeks and my co-workers have been doing all of my work for my while I’ve been away, I’d say that’s a pretty shitty way to return the favor when I get back to work tomorrow. Yeah, I can just feel their “energy” now.
Venus sends you a friendly reminder that you don’t need a reason to play. So feel free to get rowdy with your girls tonight.
You can always count on Cosmopolitan to provide a road map for the skankiest and most inappropriate way to get in the pants of that skeevy guy at the club and/or catch herpes, so why should their horoscopes be any different? Yes, Sunday night — that’s the time to get “rowdy” in my book.
Sagittarius Moon will continue in force for the next two days – offering you a myriad of insights and brainstorms. When cosmic challenges are of minor consequence, today’s lunar dispensation can provide you with a happy-go-lucky demeanor and optimistic outlook on life. However, there are several difficult celestial sky patterns that can rain on your parade. Mercury re-entering Scorpio (12:42AM PST) – along with a Mercury-Juno union (3:27AM PST) – can suggest that stormy conditions are influencing the collective emotional world of humanity. Being too pushy, egocentric and demanding will hurt your chances of making gains with dear ones. In addition, the Sun squares Neptune at 5:44PM PST – a potentially frictional aspect that often coincides with a steep rise in confusion, chaos, illusions and deceptions. Placing your trust in friends and family members who are not always reliable may be a mistake. Signing papers, making long-term agreements, and buying large-ticket items can put you into a bind. This is one of those days when you don’t want to become your own worst enemy. Luckily, a Sun-Saturn 72-degree quintile formation from Scorpio to Virgo (6:04PM PST) can provide enough commonsense, objectivity, and realism to see you through several hours of uncertainty. Learn more from mentors and experienced professionals in your main fields of expertise. Ingenious ideas are pervasive as Sunday night morphs into Monday morning since Mercury trines Pallas in water signs (12:59AM PST tomorrow).
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…huh? Wha, what? I’m sorry, I dozed off somewhere after something about sky patterns.
And last, but not least, from Horoscope.com:
For those of us born on November 11
Happy Birthday! The months ahead could see you taking up a good cause, especially when Mars begins to influence matters in the New Year, but don’t dream of changing the world: keep it real and be satisfied with what you do achieve. You might expect too much from your romantic encounters, too, particularly during the early summer, although you will radiate an inner charm that will be quite irresistable. By September, you’ll probably want to give your life an overhaul and introduce some positive changes ready for the challenges that the following New Year will bring.
So, basically, the theme for my next year of life is: set the bar low. I’m so inspired by this, that I think I’m going to go out right now and not try to accomplish anything new or change my life in any measurable way. Happy Birthday to me!